VietNamNet Bridge - Throwing a party for your elderly relatives is a way of also reminding younger generations of Vietnam’s traditionally Confucian origins.

Vietnamese families often throw a party for elderly relatives but not necessarily on their birthday. For starters, few old people actually know their exact date of birth as they have no birth certificates! But it is also a tradition to celebrate longevity in spring after the Lunar New Year has begun rather than on the actual birthday.

This is the most auspicious time of year and all family members are likely to be home to join in the celebrations. The ‘longevity celebration’ is not simply a glorified birthday party. Vietnam is a traditional and Confucian society. The celebration might be better understood as a way of giving thanks or honouring your elders.

It is a way to remind younger generations of the sacrifices their parents or grandparents, or indeed great grandparents, have made in the past. The more important position or rank someone holds in society, the grander the celebrations will be. But of course, the main point is to toast and congratulate someone for reaching a ripe old age of 70, 80 or 90. Respecting the elderly means treasuring their life experience.

A family that has an old person living with them is believed to be a lucky one as their children will learn from their life experience and worldly wisdom. Sometimes a community or village will organise a group party to celebrate all the local elders, who have reached a certain age. The party will be held in the village’s dinh (communal house). Colourful flags and ribbons will ripple in the wind.

A red carpet will be rolled out from the gate of the dinh to the threshold. The fragrance of burning joss sticks will hang in the air as the village’s eldest man kneels before the altar inside and prays for prosperity and happiness for all villagers. He will then report the names of the elders celebrating their longevity to the village’s genies and pray for their good health. There will be music and a parade of traditional dances. Gifts and certificates of longevity will also be presented to the honoured guests.

In some areas celebrations are not held in the village’s dinh, but at people’s own homes. Today, as living standards have been on the up, celebrations have become more extravagant for some families. But Pham Minh Thu, an 80 year old from Hanoi, says celebrations don’t need to be excessive. “What’s important is how children behave towards their parents every day,” says Thu.

“A big celebration will not show their gratitude to their parents.” Children have also been accused of using the celebration for their own ends, as depicted in a famous Vietnamese film, in which the director of a company is planning to celebrate his mother’s 80th birthday in his house. But his brother is also keen to host the party in the family’s hometown.

The director knows if he hosts the party his wealthy peers and VIP colleagues will offer cash and lavish gifts. The other brother arrives hoping he can take his mother back to the countryside. The director cottons onto his brother’s scheme and sneaks his mother away to a friend’s house and secretly organises a party in a luxury restaurant. It all ends a nasty quarrel between the brothers in the restaurant and the mother collapses due to the stress and shame of it all.

It’s a simple moral tale for these modern times when strong family ties and traditional Confucian ideals are fast being forgotten thanks to the dizzying pace of life in Vietnam. The longevity celebration is a fine cultural trait that should not be taken advantage of. We must remember to respect the elderly and the traditions that have forged this nation over the thousands of years.

(Source: Time-out)