Vietnamese mothers of the modern times, who return from overseas training courses, or have the opportunities to learn about western cultures, now prefer bringing up children with western style, believing that the western style is better for their children than the traditional Vietnamese style.

Westernized mothers want western style for their children

While the majority of Vietnamese mothers keep children at home and do not let children go too far from parents, western children can go out to the open air when they are still small. Especially, babies can be brought with parents to swimming pools or to parks so that they can get weather-seasoned.

And now, modern Vietnamese mothers decide that their children need to grow up strong and adaptive to the environment like western children. A mother wrote on webtretho, a mother’s forum on educating children: “My son has been brought to the open air and let to sleep on a separate bed since he was two months old. When he was seven months, I brought him to go bathing on the beach. Now my son is one year old and he proves to be strong and clever”.

Western children know how to look after themselves very soon. They can put on clothes, pick up cooking or pour milk into glasses. When they get older, they can play with friends in teams, or they are allowed to sleep at a friend’s home to practice necessary skills, which allow them to deal with different situations themselves without the presence of parents. This is also the way a Vietnamese mother with the nickname “Kittylovefish” has been applying with her child.

“I always encourage my daughter to invite her friends to our house, stay for the whole day and have lunch with our family,” Kittylovefish wrote. “I always organize small parties at my house, inviting my friends to bring their children to the parties, so that the kids can play together. They seem to be very excited”.

A mother with the nickname “Zwergestube” wrote: “Vietnamese mothers need to change their viewpoints about the way of educating children. They should understand that they are mothers, who need to show the way for children to go, provide food and guide children how to serve themselves, how to study and how to deal with the problems in their lives. Mothers should not be simply the helpers for children”.

The most typical characteristic in the way of bringing up children of Vietnamese mothers is that they try to feed the children as much as possible. Mothers would satisfy all the children’s wishes, provided that they accept to eat what parents give to them.

A scene that can be seen regularly in Vietnamese families that children try to “run away” from meals, while parents run after them and try to sooth them to obedience. At meetings, the mothers who have children aged below five always ask others: “how heavy is your child?”

“Xuxu”, a mother wrote on webtretho, that mothers should not attach too much importance to the weight of children, but should spend time on bringing children to the open air, so that children can get adapted to the living environment and become more independent.

“Parents should not keep their children under their arms, or their children will not be able to cope with difficulties,” she wrote.

The fight between modern and traditional mothers

Cuc, who lives on Kham Thien street in Hanoi, said that there always exists the disagreement between her and her mother-in-law about the way to educate children.

When the son was small, Cuc wanted to expose her baby to the sun early in the morning, while her mother always kept the boy in the room, because she feared he would get sick. When the boy grows up, Cuc wants to punish the boy when he makes mistakes, while the mother never punishes him and tries to give him everything he wants.

Ngoc, who lives on Lo Duc street in Hanoi, also said that he always gets puzzled because of the disagreement between his wife and his mother. Due to the different viewpoints and gap between the generations, his mother wants to grow up his child with traditional experiences, while his wife wants to apply the western style.

Source: Tien phong